The morning before has dawned clear and bright. The sun shines and the sky is clear blue. Traffic abounds outside and people continue their last minute preparations. Certainly plan a walk along the beach later.
We are waiting for Miriam and Nigel to get here. They planned to set off around 9.30. Not heard any updates so hopefully they are making progress. Dad just got back from town with the ham and turkey. As soon as I've finished this post I will sort the ham out for its braise in apple juice. That will take a couple of hours. Glaze it tomorrow.
A year on from last year's Christmas catastrophe we are all in better shape. The evil anxiety pops up still at times. Often when I first wake up and my mind surveys the fear of the day. I tend to get very down on myself when that happens. And I think I'm lazy. But it is the holiday so nothing wrong with being lazy.
Did I ever imagine I would relapse that deep or that long? No not at all. Big wake up call I suppose but I'm now moving forward with a team to support me, a new found belief that it is okay to ask for help and to acknowledge that while in my more manic moments I like everyone else want to save the world, that is foolish and impossible. In the dark days of last winter the kind GP who helped me said "you must allow yourself to be the patient". And she was right.
My many, varied and awesome friends never stopped helping me out and making me break out from the terrible loneliness that depression bequeaths. And for that I'm eternally grateful.
Enjoy this Christmas. I will post again tomorrow when my gluttony needs a rest. See you all then.
I Heard a Voice.
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