Shades of Icarus?

Can any story of soaring arrogance and epic failure be more apt than the legend of Icarus? You may recall that Icarus made wings from wax and feathers so he could fly but his father warned him not to fly too close to the sun. He ignored the advice, the wax melted and he plunged to his death in the Aegean Sea.

I can recall times in my battle with mood when I have in my conceit and vanity flown too high and too close. And I paid a terrible price. Not sure if my old friend Zoe still reads this but if she still does I certainly do not equate my experience with the manic rage and genius that is a full on bipolar episode. A much lesser degree but I have been equally burned. The price of burning it is the depths of despair.

If you have followed my writings for the last few years you will know I certainly have knowledge of the depths of despair to which a mind buffeted by significant mood issues can sink. I was finished back in the depths of that terrible winter. I never believed I would see the heights of glory of yesteryear. Mine were I know now vainglorious. My therapist commented a while ago about the richness of my life.

As you read my musings today you can rest assured I'm fighting hard to stay grounded and not fly too close to the sun. But I'm coming home feeling triumphant some days, assured of my brilliance as a practitioner but still aware enough to keep checking with people.

My texts are more triumphant, funny and terse. People are smiling and laughing around me. At times I'm laughing at the foolishness of the world. I'm being indulgent, the very expensive bottle of Cote du Rhone I bought by accident is wonderful but I know I can't afford to do that often. Yet I don't care.

The excellent Nikki who lost so much to mania just text to say should I see the doctor. Jayne pretty much said the same. I have the weapons to fight back but I do not have the will to put the brakes on just yet.

For one night only I will bask in Mozart, indulge in good wine, defy the world and carry on. Then tonight the Risperidone goes up.

I Heard a Voice.