Hidden Eyes.

 For many years I hid my eyes from the world. Whether behind shades or avoiding eye contact. I didn't look at people. I didn't want them to see my pain and sadness. 

There is a portrait of me at dad's flat painted shortly after my breakdown and my first time on a psychiatric ward. Dad says he can the sadness in my eyes.

I'm not doing well today. Nor indeed yesterday. It was the anniversary of when my world imploded at the age of 20. I cried my tears, I hid from the world, I listened to my music and I looked at my photos. 

I'm surprised I haven't bounced back. But today I feel utterly overwhelmed. I sat through a meeting at work then gave up the ghost. 

Now I sit alone in my flat blankly staring at the TV. I don't want to talk to anyone today but I will force myself out to order my medication. 

When will normality return to my life? I don't know. But I hope it comes soon, today isn't nice.

I Heard a Voice.