Greetings on a now sunny Sunday morning. Tosca has just finished, I'm alone in the silence of my flat and drinking iced water. Sounds idyllic I guess but not all has been well since I last wrote to you all.
The reverberation of the hammer blow of just over two weeks ago continues. Hard to describe the mental impact, bewilderment, loss, sadness. What is lacking is anger.
My friends are all very angry about what has happened. I can make no sense of it but others are voicing what needs to be voiced but I cannot voice myself.
I try to be kind and caring to all. Sadly that is not always reciprocal when it comes to what happened. Another cherished and loved person walks out on my life with no explanation.
Ruminating is never good but at present I can't stop it. At least physically I am better.
Each day is struggle that must be filled. Today it is with the legendary English culinary masterpiece and signature roast beef. I have a table booked at The White Hart at 1 pm. The beef there is stunning.
Sadly it will pass all too quickly and I suspect my mind will turn and fold in on itself. Mental illness, twists of fate and bad decision making still pervade my life. So I will take it one day at a time.
I Heard a Voice.
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