Nearly the End.

The glorious sunshine of earlier has given way to a dull afternoon. It was so cold overnight that my heating clicked on for the first time since May. Must get my winter duvet out when I change my bed.

You find me working from home on this Friday afternoon. The days are passing quickly and soon the final words of this chapter of my life will be written.

My departure from the university is feeling very real now. And very odd. My friend Sammie who I helped recruit to work alongside me in 2015 left yesterday. We had a lovely lunch and home made cake send off for her. She said it felt like she was going on holiday and she can't really get her head round it.

For my part the end comes on Monday 8th November. I must hand over my laptop, phone and ID card. Then I will be gone. The emotion is mixed but I remain optimistic. Hopefully we will have a little drinks gathering on the that final Monday. Not sure if I will be required to speak but it would be nice to address a crowd there for the final time.

Sometimes I can be very critical of the institution, certainly it is not without its problems. But then name a large organisation that doesn't? There are though many things to be grateful for. They gave me a chance when no one else would. Many have embraced me. Many have praised me. They funded my MSc in Mental Health Practice. They gave me a platform not only to help vulnerable young people, to save lives, but also to establish myself as a well known practitioner. And they gave me an identity beyond just a support worker.

I rarely go to mental health events now but when I do so many people know my name. That would never have been possible down in Kent unless I had heeded the pressure and trained to be a social worker. Laudable as that would have been I know many from my side of the fence who took that route and ended up regretting it. I could not side that much back then.

Now I will become part of an established orthodoxy. I will once again be part of statutory services in my new job but I will not stop using my voice and taking the side of those who use our services when it is needed.

The connections I have built up both in and out of my current employment help. There has been nothing but praise for what I have achieved since coming here in 2007. And the confidence others have in me moving on is ringing loudly. I just need to stop doubting myself and keep proving it.

My weekend will be quiet. Braised ox cheek on the menu tomorrow followed by slow roast shoulder of lamb on Sunday. Sarah will join me for the latter. Enjoy yourselves everyone.

I Heard a Voice.