Ferocious Heat, Still Air and All Round Summer.

According to my phone it is 33 degrees out, there is barely a breath of wind and humidity remains high. For all of us who fear and moan of our cold wet winters summer is fighting back. It has been like this for weeks. More than 40 years have passed since we had anything like this. It ages me I suppose but most of my colleagues have never witnessed anything like this.

You find me on a hot Thursday evening dressed in shorts and tee shirt and with all the doors and windows open. My flat which is usually a cool place to reside is like furnace. I have a chilled glass of Muscadet, the radio on and a long weekend in the offing. My friend Marie is coming to visit so I decided to take tomorrow off. Start as I mean to go on I think hence the wine.

Things are progressing and I aim to do my full time hours from next week. Yet still the turbulence is catching me out at times and making life uneasy. I'm taking on board what I'm learning but trying to undo the fierce expectation I place of myself is hard to do. I've been doing this too long.

My history leaves me suspicious of people's intentions. Too often I've heard one thing and experienced another. Too many times I have been lulled into belief then savaged by the false promises and deceptions. The world can be a fearful place. But onward I go.

I do not know my destination for I know that recovery is not that but a journey of many twists and turns. To find peace is an aim that sometimes feels out of reach. Much to my surprise after a difficult start to Sunday I achieved a brief few moments of peace and enjoyment and realised that for all my doubt I can triumph. And the BBQ was a triumph.

Since then in response to the intense heat I have turned to South East Asian salads for sustenance. They certainly know how to combat heat with the most radiant of salads. Why are we so poor at cold food here? Refreshing and healthy it gives me a sense of wellbeing that so often I lack.

If you're not feeling too overwhelmed enjoy this glorious summer and remember living in moments of goodness can far outweigh the darkness if we just let it happen.

I Heard a Voice.