In my year long venture into all things ADHD I repeatedly hear two words. Mainly these words come from women diagnosed late. They are powerful. Vindication and anger.
After a 4 1/2 year nightmare I emerged into dazzling light vindicated on Friday. A new way forward sweeping away the toxic cloud that has seeped into my very being, my core and my self. It is over.
No ego driven, power crazed and control obsessed poison any more. Life changed on Friday.
Going forward I will play to my strengths, bring compassion, bring teaching, bring knowledge and a fierce sense of right and wrong to my work life.
On a sunny Sunday morning I'm listening to Mozart opera and cooking roast pork. I read two chapters of my book and am looking forward to opening a bottle of Rioja.
Yesterday I was in Cambridge with Jayne to watch the American football Varsity Bowl. Glorious win for the Pythons followed by drinks in the Granta and dinner at Sala Thong.
Not without its bad memories. Two events occured in the Granta many years ago. Both very significant and damaging. But I will not let that overwhelm me. Past mars my past but I shape my future. The storied story goes on.
Back in my current world the devil has shut down all contact with the world beyond her twisted, damaged little life. It is both good and bad. Tinged with what might have been. Harry says I always talk about endings in therapy not what went on before. There is a long way to go with therapy and it remains brutally hard.
That, however, can wait until Wednesday. Today is Sunday and tomorrow is a public holiday. Enjoy this sunny long weekend.
I Heard a Voice.
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