I awoke this morning after a horrible nightmare with my mood plummeting through the floor, exhaustion, no motivation and a sense of despair. No idea why this happened but the joys of having a mood disorder have once again struck me.
Days like this when it comes out of nowhere are extremely difficult. I've given up trying to make sense of it. There simply is no explanation or sense to it.
That I must ride it out is clear. But the isolation that has come with it is crippling. No one is picking up the phone. No one has made me angry which is my usual precursor to the depths of hell. Strangely I'm not feeling particularly anxious. I did have a setback in the week. Maybe that is the trigger.
I'm forcing myself to eat. I feel starving but I've no appetite or energy to do so. Not wanting to cook or prepare food is never a good sign for me.
Two weeks today I will be in Kent. Yes Christmas is not far off. Let us hope that brings some joy. Be good to see my dad, it's been a while.
I will write today off and hope tomorrow is better.
I Heard a Voice.
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