On a quiet, sunny Sunday morning I'm home listening to Beethoven's cello sonatas and reminiscing. On what was, what is, and what might have been.
That day three years ago was magical. That I would get together with Charlotte had never been my intention nor even in my thinking. Two troubled souls colliding. It could only end one way and that was in tears.
She put me through so much over the ensuing three years. Mainly for her absence but also by the broken promises and occasional demands to come up late at night when there were no trains and we both had work the next day.
I have no idea why she left. Just ghosting and then don't contact me. She has no idea what she has done. The turmoil unleashed. And the devastation that manifests itself in all aspects of my life.
There is nothing I can do but try to let go and move on.
Mentally I'm still struggling despite three weeks of work. I'm signed off until the 12th and certainly in need of more time than that.
Away from my little world I fear for the larger world. Looking back in the fifteen years I've been writing this blog there has been little stability but today seems darker than at any point in my life. Fear pervades all.
For now though I stick to my Beethoven and read. I do have friends coming for lunch but that is a way off. I'm up so early after yet more nightmares.
Maybe see you all in the week.
I Heard a Voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment