Today has been miserable out. Heavy rain and gusting winds. That was after a New Year's Day full of doubt, overthinking, loneliness and flat mood followed by a night of insomnia. Not a good start.
Those days and nights come to be sometimes. The legacy of all these years of ups, downs and mental illness. On those days I just try to let it play out and learn to fight another day.
Despite the the storm raging outside I'm in a better place. I popped out to The Waggoners to see off the lovely Helena who is off on her travels. A kind, smiling, intelligent 21 year old she has looked after me on my visits the last few months.
Back home now in the warm my travels seem long gone. I have travelled extensively in my life, 17 choir tours between 1979 and 1996, travels alone to Holland and Spain, travels with friends and more recently trips with dad.
Whether I do another trip I do not know. Today it feels too overwhelming.
I do though recreate the marvellous cuisine of other cultures in my kitchen. People like my cooking.
On this bleak winter day my adventure is closer to home. Lamb casserole using scrag end is bubbling away slowly on the hob. I believe it's called comfort food.
Tomorrow my holiday ends. The world is moving on its very dangerous way. But each it gets a little lighter. The bulbs will come in a few weeks. Spring will bring back the greenery. And I return to study for the first time since 2015.
I Heard a Voice.
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