Misty Morning.

Hi all, hope you enjoyed Christmas if you celebrate it, holidays if you don't and are in good cheer.

Fog has descended on the Kent coast. We made it through Christmas. A roast goose on the day, a mountain of cheese and a lake of red wine. Presents given and received. 

Miriam and Nigel went home yesterday. I go tomorrow. Try as I might switching off from work has been hard. I'm facing difficult times there despite how hard I work. 

There is however another week off before I face that head on. Very much hope to get to see Jess next week. 

Happy New Year when we get there.

I Heard a Voice. 

A Kentish Sunday.

And so to rest after a brutal couple of months. My emotions are raw, my stress high and anxiety for the future prominent. Will it ever get any easier?

I fought through the traffic, the speed restrictions and the rain to make it to the Kent coast yesterday. Dad had forgotten I was coming. 

This morning brought sunshine but high winds. I woke very late so I'm behind. There is leg of pork in the oven roasting. I'm struggling with the crackling but hopefully some at least will come out.

Dad is at church as I write. I'm here for a week, very much needed. 

I'm not depressed and my anxiety not overwhelming but I do need to switch off. 

Reviewing 2024 there has been illness, loss, death, long dormant memories of the past awakened, brilliance, despair, joy and sadness. Such is the human state. I am flawed but I am a survivor. I am weak but I will fight. Hardest of all is to recall that I am loved. I must live with that. 

I Heard a Voice. 

Til Death Do Us Part.

The month of November marked the deaths of six people known to me. All were older people so not exactly unexpected. Yet two deaths stood out. Two men whose careers went side by side, one as head, one as deputy for more than four decades.

They were buried on consecutive days last week. One was widely publicised, well attended and happy memories. I attended. The other with no publicity was buried the day before. One I mourn. The other I do not.

Me sense is that it will not be long before light is shed on a dark place. Speaking to an incumbent in the present day at the wake I remarked that there wasn't much safeguarding in those days to which she responded I know. 

Us survivors glory in an arrogant and storied past but how many are still fighting their demons 45 years later? I still do sometimes. 

Away from that my daily work and existence remains difficult at times. But I guess that comes with the territory of what I do and where I do it. No institution is without its faults and challenges. 

Christmas is but ten days away. I need the break. In the meantime I listen to Mozart and contemplate lunch at The Waggoners shortly. 

I Heard a Voice.