Triumphant Change.

On this grey final day of summer I break my silence to you all. I say all but actually very few people have been reading recently. But I'm not worried about that. I just like to indulge myself a little longer. The summer has been pretty bleak affair in the main and has gone far too quickly. I haven't seen the sun for a few days and I can definitely feel the chill of autumn coming.

Yet sunshine has lit up my life for the last week or so. After so long feeling bad about myself, doubting my ability and battling increasing anxiety my life has taken a huge step in a new direction.

Last Monday after a 25 minute video interview I was appointed the Team Leader for the new Mental Health Support Team delivering mental health provision into schools in Welwyn and Hatfield. They must have liked me as they offered me the job within 10 minutes.

My head is still spinning, my emotion all over the place but I have finally triumphed in my long journey to move on in my life. I never believed that would happen and have for a long time feared that was it on my career.

Excited and terrified in equal measure but that is to be expected. Starting again at 52 is a daunting prospect but I know I'm doing the right thing.

The news has made my holiday. I remain off until next week and celebrated my birthday yesterday with Miriam and Nigel for lunch and then a couple of drinks in the evening. Tomorrow I'm hoping to meet an old Cambridge friend. The optician awaits on Thursday but little else planned.

Wherever you are in the world please take notice that change can happen even when feeling very stuck. I was frightened throughout the process but I triumphed in the end.

Take care out there.

I Heard a Voice. 

Catching Up With My Past.

On this cold August day where the chill of autumn is in the air I bid you all hello. Yes it has been some time since I was on here. So on my lunch break I thought I'd write a short piece.

Life remains up and down for me but I'm managing. The unsettled sleep certainly doesn't help, I woke four times this morning from 5.30 and never really got back to sleep properly. An uneven start but have stabilised now.

I took a big step last week to try to alter how my life goes. I suspect as has been the case for the last nine years it will be a step to nowhere. But without taking that step I will never know what might have been. I anticipate knowing a little more.

Aside from that it was great to see old friends and go to old haunts on what was a long weekend for me. Yesterday I returned to Borough Market for the first time in nearly a year. Meeting my friend Charlotte who I have not seen for nearly two years we had an awesome day. Also an awesome assault on my bank balance but never mind.

Lunching as I'm wont at Brindisa I introduced the vegetarian Charlotte to cuttlefish, prawns and anchovies. Quite a success as she liked them. The lunch was wonderful.

Then on to the Market. I emerged with a wild mallard, Cabrales cheese for Jo, some Mojame, and many spices to refresh my spice cupboard. Very pleased with my haul.

And then to what was The Grapes and the shadow of the place I called The Hotel California in A Pillar of Impotence. Yes I still retain and return to the places of darker times. But I'm okay with that.

Back in reality now I'm working until the end of the week then have my annual birthday holiday. 52 feels scarier than 50 but it is what it is.

More soon.

I Heard a Voice.