Held Back by the Past?

I've been doing quite a lot of reviewing this week. Much spent trawling through a long academic paper that whilst having some interesting points does not actually reflect trying to hold the dam that is being overwhelmed by a tide of mental health issues that is the 21st century university. I'm not sure what to make of it really other than wanting to scream come and do my job for a day.

The problem with a lot of research is it is designed to fit a pre-conceived idea of what is going on. If one takes a stance that looks at some not others you will get a skewed answer. I have spent a lot of time over the years reaching out to academics and schools trying my best to help. Yet the only people who responded to the call for participants were overwhelmingly people I hadn't come across despite those efforts.

Last year I offered and delivered a two hour interactive workshop to all academic schools. I delivered to most, some failed to respond. The anecdotal evidence was that they were a success. Short of forcing all staff to come to training I cannot realistically reach out to everyone. My message over my time there has been consistently ring me up if you are stuck.

All this has left me questioning once again what I'm doing, my purpose and just what do people expect of me? Later in the day I looked back in reverse on my blog posts since it all went wrong at Christmas. I realise just how far I have come. But from what? And to what?

I'm working hard to right myself with some help. Everyone is making the right noises but still I feel quite adrift at times. Do I still have a place there? And if so what is it?

Time is ticking away. In less than six weeks it all kicks off again. Lost in the heat and intensity and general ebullience from the World Cup is that soon it will all disappear into the dust replaced by cold, damp and intensity of a different kind. Such is my autumn and the coming of the new year.

I cannot dwell on that though. I have my opera, my Rioja and my books on a Wednesday night. The cricket has finally started up again and I have a long weekend booked. Only a day to go.

I Heard a Voice.