Sunday 22 July 2018

Low Level Annoyance.

On Thursday evening a strange message appeared on my TV saying that some channels would no longer be shown on Virgin Media. Given how fond I am of watching food programmes as well as nature programmes I assume it would just be moved somewhere else on the spectrum of programme slots and continue as normal. But as I discovered after midnight they simply won't be shown anymore.

Given how much I spend on their service it will come as no surprise that I'm slightly more than irritated by this turn of events. Doing some digging this morning it would appear Virgin had a spat with the BBC which is involved in UKTV programming over on demand services. The term used was "dinosaur" for those not using on demand services. Well I may be a dinosaur but I still would like what I pay for.

The upshot of this will now be that aside from keeping up with the news and during the NFL season I will likely be watching very little TV from now on. Maybe that is a good thing but it still leaves me annoyed and a little downhearted.

In its stead I'm listening to a prom on Radio 3 of organ music from the Royal Albert Hall. I'm a little way through reading the paper and my thoughts are turning to lunch. After that I must prepare for this afternoon's BBQ. When I lived in Kent at least once every summer we had a beach BBQ. Used to love preparing for those. Now as I contemplate doing that again I wonder why it is that I feel on edge. Has my anxiety got to such ridiculous levels that I want to run away from that too? Still that doubt lies lurking in my mind. I'm trying to temper my expectation of myself. But it is hard.

If you have been reading today you may have seen there was a rare comment on my last post. The writer correctly points out that King Canute did not really fail just proved himself right by showing he couldn't hold back the waves to his subjects. The intention of my comment was that I cannot hold back the sea any more than King Canute could. The mention of resources in the comment is interesting. The response of some might be that my department if more heavily resourced than ever before. But we still can't keep up with demand.

My fears for September still lurk just as my daily anxiety lurks. I'm managing okay at the moment. Yes there are things that stick with my and grate but I'm managing. But I know the storm will come soon. By my reckoning we must be around seven weeks until that happens. So seven weeks to build back some resilience and self esteem. Is that too tall an order for me? I hope not for I must be there ready or not at the end of those weeks.

I Heard a Voice.

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