Whilst the world takes his and her and its mother out for lunch today I am at home listening to Cosi fan Tutte and avoiding that realm that is Facebook. The annual jamboree that is Mothers' Day is underway and I will keep a low profile. Never a day I liked much anyway, now that mum has been gone nearly six years it is a day I would rather forget.
The promising sunny start has given way to another gloomy and dark day. It is warm which is a relief. I'm trying to work out what to do with myself. The night's sleep was splintered and fractured by bizarre and at times disturbing dreams. My pattern has shifted from that of late. Struggling to sleep ever since I discovered I had to move yesterday it was back to normal and I felt refreshed. My day then was pretty good if you exclude England's dire performance in Paris and West Ham's disgraceful scenes at the London stadium. I met up with my friend Karen from work and we had a lovely chat.
In the evening I spent time with friends in the pub and extended invitations to roast chicken today. Then the come down of morning. My friends cancelled dinner and to be honest I was relieved. Not really in the entertaining mood.
But that gets me no further on what to do now. If I go out there will be nowhere to sit down after the aforementioned Mothers' Day. Maybe a walk will do me good after the opera.
A couple of weeks lie between me and a return to reality. It all seems pretty daunting and is seeping into my thinking at times. But of course I must get there and see how we manage. My friend Lisa who has been off longer than me is planning a return tomorrow. I wish her well.
On Thursday I think I will get the train to Kent. Dad's birthday is approaching on Saturday and it will be good to get back down to the sea and walk on the shore hearing the wind, the waves, the gulls. Will I ever return for good? The thought is tempting but my recent move compels at least for the time being to stay put here in Hertfordshire.
As parting note my thoughts go out to you all who like me might find this day difficult. Seeing signs of what once was is not always pleasant or kind. Memories are stirred and not always quenched. Take care on this day.
I Heard a Voice.
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