Thursday 4 January 2018

Insomnia Wipe Out.

There are some nights when I just can't sleep. My mind goes into overdrive, flits from thought to thought, leaps into work anxiety and generally wrecks my precious sleep. I never know when it will happen but fortunately it is nowhere near as frequent as it was in the early years of my madness.

Should the average person not accustomed to powerful sedating medication take what I take they would struggle to get up before the evening. I learned that to my cost when they decided some years ago to make a change in my medication. After months of insomniac frustration I persuaded them to go back to where we were. When I went up to full dose I didn't wake up until 6 pm. Time builds tolerance though so mainly I do okay.

Last night was a complete wipe out. I got up to watch TV at 2.45 am. Went back to bed at 3.30 am and by last look at the watch it was almost 4 am when I finally slept. Fast forward to 12.20 pm and finally I woke up.

Too late to make my plan of London. Disheartened at the waste of my so needed holiday I have shambled around today in a daze. The impact of last week's crisis is playing on my mind. Am I paying the price for that terrifying fear I experienced a week before? That it would have a knock on impact should come as no surprise but I was trying not to think about that.

Of some solace is that dad reports feeling much better. That is a huge relief. That has to be the priority but I still need to look after myself.

Somewhat lost I did some food shopping and searched in vain for something to spend my vouchers on. I then retired to The Crooked Chimney, I do like a good pub with a roaring fire. Only three days left to try to recuperate. Then chaos.

I did enjoy my afternoon and evening with Sarah. The Last Jedi was fun but far too long. Gratuitous profiteering in the same light as The Hobbit trilogy setting up yet another overlong film. But can we put a price on escapism? After we were entertained by Yang for some fine crispy duck.

Now as the afternoon wanes and the darkness falls I'm taking comfort from Mozart. Perhaps it is time for tea. See you soon.

I Heard a Voice.

1 comment:

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