On The Trail of Something New.

I'm not sure if I have mentioned Time to Change on here before. It is national programme aimed at reducing stigma and discrimination in mental health. It initially ran from 2008 to 2011 and then had its funding renewed last autumn. I volunteered for them on World Mental Health Day in 2010. I'm have also been on their mailing list since since the start.

Last week I received an update saying that they were looking for a Lived Experience Advisor to be on their board. Somewhat interested I thought I would give it a go. So on Thursday night I e mailed in my application for the post. I think I have little chance to even get an interview but I guess if I don't try I have no chance. My doubts stem merely from not being well known enough or in with mental health mafia. But we shall.

It have been fairly uneventful in my life this week although my colleagues had a lot of complicated stuff to do. I slept late today then went into town for passport photos-yes it is time to renew again. I then did some boring domestic stuff before watching the rugby-England were so close but lost it in the dying minutes.

Firmly ensconced in my warm flat I am now braising belly pork with five spice and eggs-I'm told it is classic Thai street food. I have done it many times before and on the whole has been very good.

Tomorrow I'm off to Cambridge to watch the Cambridge University Pythons play the UEA Pirates-a fierce and old rivalry. Let's hope we have better luck than England!

I Heard a Voice.

Sun, Mozart, and Pork.

Greetings on a pleasantly sunny Hertfordshire afternoon. Yes after a few days of gloom and occasional rain the sun has finally come out for a glorious if slightly chilly February Sunday afternoon.

It has been a week of work, visitors, and cooking. Yes I have been at my finest in the kitchen this week-a sure sign that I am now recovered from my ailments of the previous weeks. It's funny but when I'm not well I stop cooking. This is particularly true when I am in low mood. My mood is now exactly where I want it, hovering around the +2 point on my scale.

So what of the great cooking fest that has been this week? Well the Hunan beef I was about to cook when I was last on here was great triumph, one of the great Chinese dishes I have ever done. Those who know me will know I have been cooking and failing to perfect Chinese food for more than 20 years. That was followed on Sunday by slow roast Lamb with rosemary and thyme. Again it was excellent along with the rioja.

The remaining lamb was in turn made into Shepherd's pie-the delights of thrift. But it was on Wednesday that I surpassed myself and created something magnificent. My Malaysian friend Joey came over and not only brought good rioja but fresh scallops as well. I was a scallop virgin in the kitchen but the results with pan seared scallops with a butter and parsley sauce surpassed my imagination. The rare beef was pretty good too.

Not to be outdone I had another visitor this weekend from Kent. We proceeded to gorge ourselves on beef rendang and roast pork today.

God knows how much weight I have put on. But life is good. And so to a quiet Sunday afternoon of Mozart, blogging, and relaxation.

Back to the mayhem tomorrow and must start thinking about writing the next chapter of "Charon's Ferry". Enjoy the weekend.

I Heard a Voice.

100 not out!

Welcome to the 100th post on this blog. I started in September 2010 and although at times I have been sporadic in my posting it has been fun. Apparently I have had more than 2000 hits. Viewing does remain low compared to some others-my friend Izzi gets 200-300 a day on juggleglass.com -but I am still having fun.

For those of you who have been following I am finally feeling better. Took over 10 days to recover but I seem in the main to have recovered from what felt like a strange combination of heavy cold but with the utter fatigue of other viruses. So glad it is over.

The last few days have a bit weird and isolating as some fool decided to steal some cable and wiped out the whole BT network in my local area. That's right, no phones, no internet, no cashpoints, and no chance of using a card in a shop. Amazing how something so simple could stop a whole town in its tracks. It all went out late on Thursday and we didn't get it back until this afternoon.

It is now time for some cooking. I just put some rice on and am doing a fiery beef dish from Hunan. Must confess I'm having to cheat a little-basmati rice should not really be served with Chinese food-but I ran out of what I needed. Tomorrow I will be slow roasting a shoulder of lamb with honey, rosemary and garlic. That is an old favourite of mine and is usually very good.

Back to work Monday. I guess I'm back in catch up mode again. God knows what happened in my absence!

I Heard a Voice.

Full of Cold.

For anyone who read my last post-and not many of you did-I am still full of cold but in a better place mentally. It got a bit scary after I posted when my psychosis switch hovered on the brink during the party I attended on Saturday. For a few moments I was reminded what it is like to glimpse inside the Gates of Hell. But I didn't pass through. I didn't stay long at the party-too worn out!

My mood is about on the zero level of my scale, not too bad but not really where I want to be. This cold or whatever it is has made me really tired. Sleeping 12 hours a night although the nightmares are still there. I have missed work the last 2 days but am really hoping to get back soon.

I have done very little that is productive the last few days but what I did do was make some excellent chicken stock. Today I was wondering what to do with it and have decided the return to an old Chinese favourite, The Ants Climbing the Tree. As dish of glass noodles, minced pork, and chilli bean paste it is almost like a Chinese spaghetti bolognaise with a bit of heat. Most excellent if any of you have guests coming around and want something simple to do. A fine way to use some of my stock.

I Heard a Voice.

It's Cold and Dark.

As the snow pours down outside in the darkness I reflect on what has been a dark week in more ways than one. I was supposed to be going to dinner at the Waggoners today with my friend John. The tax man had given him a rare smile in the form of rebate and he suggested we go out there.

We did not count on the intervention of my health and the weather. I had a very long day on Tuesday leaving my flat at 7 am and returning at 6.30 pm following a day in Northampton. Not sure whether is coincidence or a reaction but I woke up on Wednesday with an extremely sore throat and feeling absolutely washed out. I made it through my day at work but it was not a good day-days when I meet with my boss rarely are.

Thursday gave me more energy but still a bad throat. Not much happened that day. And then we got to yesterday. The fatigue was back, my throat was still sore, and I had a banging headache. But more seriously I found my mood slipping. For the first time since my relapse two years ago I had started to question what I was doing and my competence to do it. As I came home yesterday I had an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to give up.

Today has just been a day of streaming cold. But still my mood is low. So as the snow covers us in white hue and the darkness broods outside, I brood in my warm but empty flat. Had some ribs but they were poor. I just hope now that Rick Stein and a couple of beers lift things. I hate feeling disillusioned!

I Heard a Voice.

PS as a measure of my low mood, I started to re-read "Charon's Ferry"-my verdict is shit!