Saturday 26 November 2011

A Domestic God.

For any of you who know me I am, how should I put it, domestically challenged. Yes I work my way around the kitchen with enthusiasm and a little skill. But when it comes to everything else domestic I'm a disaster. My flat is chaos, my desk is chaos and my office is chaos. But at least I know things are there somewhere.

When it comes to cleaning and tidying up I do a little bit at a time with the occasional blitz. I had no plans for a blitz today until I got a text from my friend Beka on Friday saying she will be visiting on Sunday. So I was spurred into action.

Much to my surprise I did the recycling, the rubbish, the hoovering, washed the floors and cleaned the bathroom. I'm amazed! Even more amazing though is I managed to write another chapter in the book as well!

So now it is me time. I have West Ham playing on the TV-they just equalised,- a Vietnamese beef stew on the go-it smells amazing-and I'm doing some blogging. Quite why I'm doing this I'm not sure. October was my highest number of visitors to this site. November has been one of the worst-perhaps everyone is on holiday. Or maybe they are bored of my ramblings. Who knows?

Stew will be ready at 7 pm. Think I might open a beer to go with it. Then look forward to seeing Beka and eating rare roast beef at the Waggoners tomorrow. Talking of Beka she designed the cover of my book. If anyone ever wants a portrait done she is the woman to do it. Check her out on http://www.bekasmith.com/ .

Take care.

I Heard a Voice.

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Miserere Mei.

Ever have days where you feel you changed the world? Where something so astonishing happens that you don't know how to respond?

Sounds very grand doesn't it but very occasionally my work allows me to have such days. And today was one of them. I was not expecting it but in my life I always expect the unexpected. I don't know if it is that I am highly skilled, my life experience or that I just got lucky. Who knows? The question is will it work?

I have never been trained to do a single thing in mental health. I have no significant pieces of paper-I do have a joke piece of paper called an NVQ. It is all based on my life. I fell into the abyss of psychosis 21 years ago. 10 years ago with help of brilliant if somewhat junior Doctor I came out. Many others helped along the way but without her I would never have been able to sustain it. What I do is entirely based on the opposite of what was done to me. In the main my experience of mental health services was shit with a capital sh! It was a disaster for 9 years. Then came salvation.

I'm not sure where I go from here and I fear the fallout of today but I came home with feeling of "God I'm good at this"! Then came my come down. There was a great sadness in what I had done however necessary it was.

Which brought me to tonight. I ate a fine curry I cooked last night. Then I switched the lights off and listened to Allegri's Miserere. One of the most powerful pieces of music I know even if the setting we have today is fraudulent. And I was tearful.

I feel better now. Here's to tomorrow and whatever that brings.

I Heard a Voice.

PS I have a new title for my new book-all coming along very well!

Friday 18 November 2011

Beauty in and Urban Hell.

The town where my university exists is horrible. Run down and chaotic it is a melting pot of people and has areas of extreme poverty. It is not exactly big but feels very urban and ugly. Not the nicest of environments. During the summer I was not happy to discover that for the second time in a year I would be forced to move offices. This time to a site off campus. The folly of that move is plain when one realises I had my 38th visit to campus today since September. There is a plus side, hopefully the exercise will reduce the size of my beer gut.

The new office is just that, an office block. But it does have one redeeming feature, a beautiful if very small lake with a fountain. On the sunny days, and I guess we have been very lucky with those this autumn, it is nice to sit there when I go out for a cigarette. But it has been even better the last two weeks as my calm has been enhanced by a beautiful and large heron that has taken up residence there.

I know nothing about birds but can marvel at such beauty in an otherwise desolate place. I wonder how long it will stay?

As with my last post it has been another tough week. Feeling shattered so very glad it is Friday. My friend Katherine is coming to visit from London tomorrow. Slow roast Moroccan shoulder of lamb is on the menu with two middle Eastern salads. That should be fun.

Take care and have a great weekend.

I Heard a Voice.

Wednesday 9 November 2011

A Triumphant Night Followed by a Scary Storm

Greetings,

I seem to have been away from here for ages. Had my highest monthly numbers of viewers ever in October but seems to have quiet again in blogland now. I guess that is the way it goes.

Anyway, what of my life? Well last week we had a most triumphant night with the Kent launch of "A Pillar of Impotence" and my friend Beka's "Stories" exhibition. What an amazing night, so many people came we couldn't fit them all in the room. I had to speak twice and was apparently very good. I can't even remember what I said-the plan went straight out of my head when I got up there. I am hugely endebted to Beka for creating the links with Folkestone Literary Festival.

Sadly all good things come to an end. The following day I discovered my sales figures were very poor. I didn't expect much but it was somewhat disappointing. Unless I misread the e mail-entirely possible-the publisher seems to have completely discounted sales on websites other than their own. Need to chase that as I know it sold out on www.amazon.co.uk 3 times.

Back now in the madness that passes for my work life. I have been very busy but all straight forward until now. Then was engulfed by an unexpected storm on Monday. Things were very touch and go yesterday but we seem to have stabilised the situation now. It's on days like that that if they trebled my salary they still wouldn't be paying me enough. But those are the days I live for-crisis management has been my forte for years.

Tired after all that so now relaxing with the TV and about to open a beer. Have prepared sticky citrus marinaded pork chop in the fridge for tomorrow-it smells divine!

More soon.

I Heard a Voice.