A Forgotten Voice.

Doing what I do it is extremely important to learn and remember that the unexpected is only just around the corner. When I worked at Rethink my plan for the day usually went out the window by about 9.10 am. Here I never know where the next phone call will take me. It makes the job more interesting.

But if the expected comes from the dim and distant past it is even more surprising. So it was that I came home on Wednesday evening to see a letter on the floor. Turning it over I saw the return address of my publisher. I have been expecting to hear from them so I thought it was breakdown of how many books I have sold-I'm certainly not holding my breath on retirement.

When I opened it there was 5 page handwritten letter. I read it slowly. It was little confused and paranoid. Indeed the writer openly talked about having paranoid schizophrenia. She talked about how inspiring my book had been to her. She also repeatedly thanked me for writing it.

As I got to the end, there was a name. And it was name from my past. We knew each other as children. In fact we had been a primary school together before my nomadic life really began. So nice to hear from her. I recall picnics in her back garden with her brother and paddling in streams on walks. It was a good voice to hear.

But there was a sadness. Yet another person I know having a psychotic breakdown What a small world it is.

And today I cook. Am slow braising beef skirt in stout with carrots and mushrooms. Just gone in on a low heat and should be ready in 3 hours. I had planned to write this afternoon but I got delayed in town so haven't got round to it. But there always tomorrow. Let's hope the sun shines once again.

I Heard a Voice.

PS my reviews on Amazon magically re-appeared later that day, I am now up to 10 5 star reviews!

A Mysterious Disappearance.

Greetings,

Back for the first time in nearly a week. One of the reasons for my absence is that life have been like riding out a storm recently-things have not gone smoothly. There are two things I have to do to stay well, manage my stress, and get lots of sleep at the weekend. And of course risperidone. But there is a third and thankfully very rare risk that can lead to relapse. If someone really annoys me, the end result is usually a rapid plummeting of my mood and the risk of psychosis.

Fortunately, most of the time I am very calm and nothing worries me. But leading into last weekend I was seething with rage. I won't bore any of you with the details but it was bad. I was fully expecting to have to have to hit the risperidone when the inevitable slump happened. But it never came.

Since Thursday life has been much smoother although the issue may not be resolved for some time.

This weekend I am recovering. All is smooth in my world. I went into town today to discover a new book shop has opened. Our old one closed a few months ago but I was delighted someone else has ventured into the murky world of book selling. I do so love books.

Talking of books I finally got round to writing chapter 18 of the new book today. I had not written for two weeks which was beginning to irritate me. But I had great success today and am once again back on the march.

I cooked a delicious curry tonight called a Gurda Keema, a dish of lamb mince and kidneys. Not to everyone's taste but I love kidneys. I didn't quite get it right as it needed more chilli but I will remember next time.

On a sadder note, something strange happened today. Yesterday I had nine 5 star reviews of my book on Amazon all of which were amazing. Today there are none. They have completely disappeared replaced by a button saying "be the first to review this book". Am utterly mystified, irritated and wondering how to get theme back

I suppose I will have to do some research. That's all for now, time to get back to my beer.

I Heard a Voice.

I Thought it was Fixed.

I had a visit yesterday from my friend's son to try to sort out my computer problems. It all was looking good yesterday but for some reason seems to have reverted to type again today. Have no idea what is wrong with it. But this site is working so I thought I'd do a quick post.

Today is actually quite a quiet Sunday. Had some very nice roast shoulder of pork and was very restrained not to open any rioja. Might have some tonight though. Now wondering what to do next. Feeling a bit restless. I had a terrible couples of days at the end of last week but things have calmed down and the expected plummeting mood did not come on. That is a good thing.

Had hoped to write some more of the book today but not really motivated enough to do that. Feeling I'm falling behind on that but maybe I will make some progress in the week.

Tomorrow takes me back to work a day that on paper looks fairly quiet. I doubt it will stay like that though. Maybe next time I'm on here I will have to say. But for now I'm off.

I Heard a Voice.

Money Well Earned.

Today has been one of those days. The days when all hell breaks loose, no one knows what to do, and I end up getting called in. So we had the first crisis of the new academic year.

In truth sometimes I have no idea what on earth I'm doing. Sometimes you just need to talk bullshit to bring people back from the brink. That was what happened today. Somehow we got through it without having to go to hospital and avoiding assessment and admission. Tomorrow I will have to follow up, then the day after and for however long it takes.

Knowing the System as I do I can usually see who they will admit and who they won't. I knew it would be futile to go there. But still a man is in great mental pain. He unfortunately has the wrong diagnosis to be giving crisis help so it falls to us.

I earned my money today.

Had planned to write tonight but I'm too tired. So it will just be a TV catch up, a beer, and a programme on Tracey Emin. I had really hoped to go to her exhibition at the Heyward Gallery in the summer but sadly that, like so much else, fell victim to my austerity cuts. The country cuts then we all cut. But sometimes we have to do that.

I Heard a Voice.

Inching Forwards

Welcome to my quiet Sunday. A day of rest; well not entirely. I've just written another chapter in the new book. Still very pleased with it alhtough progress has slowed considerably now that term has started. But I ma inching forward. No idea when I will complete it but I think like last time I will have another party.

So what else of this weekend? England crached out of the Rugby World Cup. Quite glad I didn't get up early to watch it. In fact I haven't seen any games as they were all too early for me.

Cooking which was planned as the mainstay of my weekend has not been up to my usual standards. After yesterday I realise I really do not yet grasp the point of beef brisket. Cooked it twice now and both times were poor. The lamb today was somewhat better but not my best. The rioja was good though.

Tomorrow looms and as you may know it is World Mental Health Day. For the first time ever we have an event at the university to mark the day. The timing is very poor for us as it always occurs in week 2 when chaos is still reigning. I volunteered for Time to Change two years ago which was fun but not managed anything since. Hope it goes well. Then it is back to normal and the increasing work load that the new term brings. But I guess that's what I get paid for.

Time for tea I think. More soon.

I Heard a Voice.

The Autumn Wind Blows Chilly and Cold.

Greetings.

I had intended to post during the glorious spell of weather we have had recently but owing to various things have had very little time. That, coupled with ongoing problems with my computer at home have compelled me to write today during my lunch break.

I am fine as I usually am at this time of the year. As I have mentioned before it seems that the coming of the new academic years brings a rise in my mood. Whilst I am nowhere near at danger point I am very much on the plus side of my mood scale and judging by my relapse in January 2009 I do need to keep an eye on that.

As expected life has become very busy at work. So far we have had no major crises to deal with but that will change. There has been a change though in my referral routese. Normally early in the year I get many calls from residencies but that has not been the case so far. I have seen a big rise in referrals from Disability Services which I suspect is due the restructuring that went on over the summer. The good news is that they are now furnishing me with more information than in the past.

I also did my annual lecture to the second year Social Work students last week. As ever it seems to have gone very well and had a very nice e mail this morning from one of them saying how inspirational my talk was. Always good to hear but I'm never really sure if such comments are deserved.

Work continues on the new book but has slowed somewhat as I now have less time. But I will keep going and keep you updated as I go along.

So now that autumn has arrived properly and the cold wind is beginning to blow, I go into another year of expecting the unexpected. How knows where I will be in a couple of months time? Hopefully still well and thriving.

I Heard a Voice.